u/Throwaway317515 on Reddit shared an unfortunate story: she canceled an entire family trip after finding out that her husband hid her daughter's passport.
My husband and I have been together for 3 years. He has 3 kids from his previous relationship and I have one. She's the oldest (17). He's a dedicated man, puts God first, and loves everyone.
The daughter has health issues, work and school to balance, which takes up most of her time. Her husband accuses her of making excuses not to spend time with his kids.
My husband always complains that my daughter doesn't spend time with her stepsiblings or him but she has reasons for that and that is school, health issues and work.
She does her best to spend as much time with them as she can. but she on the other hand complains that her stepdad tells her to basically take on the role of a babysitter whenever she's with her stepsiblings.
My husband denied that and said that my daughter was making up excuses to not have to spend time with his kids.
The husband doesn't want to take the daughter on the family trip because he thinks her daughter has been having attitude problems, but the mom thinks it will be good for the family to spend time together.
For this issue, I figured that a family trip is what the family needs to get together and spend more time around each others.
My husband liked the idea but said that his kids are now "uncomfortable" around my daughter because of her "attitude" and suggested we let her stay home and have the house all to herself since that's "what she always wanted".
I told him it's best that we all go. he kept complaing til I snapped and told him to stop.
The husband even hid her daughter's passport to prevent her from taking the family vacation, but the mom found it and canceled the trip.
I booked (paid) for the whole family. However, my daughter told me she couldn't find her passport. We turned the house upside down looking for it but couldn't find it.
My husband said maybe it was a sign from God that we should let her stay home so the trip wouldn't turn into a disaster. I ignored his comment but later while I was cleaning his office I found the passport, tucked away in the 3rd drawer under a ton of papers. I was floored by this, I confronted him with it and he swore he had no idea why or how the passport got there. I checked the upstairs camera and saw him enter my daughter's room.
That was it for me, I screamed my head off at him and then canceled the whole trip completely. He started arguing saying I overreacted and that he didn't want his kids to be "miserable" on the trip and that willing to apologize to my daughter if and when I reconsider my decision regarding the cancellation of the trip because my stepkids will be devastated but I said it was final and that it was done.
He become cold and distant and said that he wants to take some time to do some fasting and get guidance from God about how he should deal with the disrespect and control I had displayed lately.
People on Reddit quickly respond to the matter.
Book a trip for just you & your daughter.
A MAN OF GOD?! You need to stop calling him that. It’s blatantly untrue and you need to open your eyes to his ACTIONS vs his WORDS.
He’s a lying, abusive, sneaky manipulative AH who is trying to push out your daughter for himself and his kids. Your stepkids should be blaming him for his disgusting actions trying to ostracise their stepsister. Without the camera, he might’ve succeeded…
Do you want to be with someone that you can’t trust?
Husband: turns to God because of "your disrespect and control"
Also Husband: actively disrespects your daughter by pointedly excluding her and stealing her passport (which is ILLEGAL btw) to CONTROL her ability to go
YTA, but only because you let this man treat you and your daughter so poorly.
He can’t use your daughter as free child-care for his children... so he intentionally alienates her from his family (and yes, I said his family because it is very apparent he does not consider your family his family!)
It's never easy to deal with disrespect, especially from the person you love most. But if your husband is regularly disrespectful, it's important to take action. Ignoring the problem will only make things worse.
Don't tolerate disrespect. Disrespect is a form of verbal abuse that should not be tolerated in any relationship. If your husband regularly speaks to you in a tone that is condescending or dismissive, it's time to have a serious conversation about the issue. Ignoring the problem will only make things worse.
Talk to your husband about the issue. Once you've decided that you're not going to tolerate disrespect, it's time to talk to your husband about the issue. Choose a time when you're both calm and try to avoid accusatory language. Instead, focus on how his words make you feel. It's important that he understands how deeply hurtful his words can be.
Suggest some changes. After you've talked about how his words make you feel, it's time to suggest some changes. Perhaps he could try using a different tone when he speaks to you, or maybe he could try to avoid speaking down to you altogether. Whatever changes you suggest, be sure that they are realistic and that he is willing to commit to them.
Seek counseling if necessary. If your husband isn't willing to make any changes, or if his disrespectful behavior continues despite your efforts, it may be time to seek counseling from a professional couples therapist or counselor. This is an important step because it can help you figure out whether or not the marriage is worth saving. If counseling is not an option for you, consider talking to a trusted friend or family member about the situation.
Dealing with disrespect is never easy, but it's important to take action if your husband is regularly disrespectful towards you. Try talking to him about how his words make you feel and suggest changes. If his behavior continues despite your efforts, seek counseling from a professional couples therapist or counselor.
Has anything similar happened to you? What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments.